Sick day

This morning when I woke up I felt the beginnings of some sort of stomach bug. I dropped Sophie off at daycare and still ventured in to work because that’s just the kind of dedicated worker I am.

I hardly ever feel nauseous. My stomach and intestinal woes usually do not manifest themselves this way. The last time I remembered being this nauseous I was pregnant, so of course I had to make a stop at the big box store for a pee stick, because it is natural for me to assume the worst case scenario, not just that I had perhaps eaten a bad piece of chicken the night before, which would’ve been ironic since we had just watched Food, Inc. on PBS.

By the time I got to my office I was in full-blown body achey, feverish, stomach feeling like the Kraken had been released inside it. I tried drinking some water, which seemed to make it worse. I felt fairly confident I could do the whole pee on the stick thing, so I found a bathroom out of the way and, well, peed on the stick.

I’ll spare you the drama and tell you in short that the I am not pregnant (chances were pretty slim and I may have blamed the whole situation had it turned out otherwise on Immaculate Conception. Still, my relief at not being pregnant did not ease any of the other flulike symptoms I was experiencing. After I had spent an agonizing 20 minutes going over budgets with my boss (which is agonizing whether you’re sick OR well), I decided it was ridiculous to sit hunched over my keyboard making pathetic moaning noises, so I packed up my stuff and left. I picked up the Kid and headed home, praying she would take a short nap, just so that I could hopefully get over this I’m going to fucking die phase of whatever this was. Sadly, she had just woken from a nap at daycare, so that was out of the question. We walked in the front door, I set her down in front of the TV, turned on PBS, and crawled underneath about ten blankets.

Yes, I’m that mom who sits their kid in front of a cartoon when she’s sick, because dad is at work and the idea that he could leave the office to come home and watch the baby while mom is circling the drain is, well, HA HA HA HA!

I probably dozed for about 20 minutes, which I know makes me an even better mom. I also may have given her a cookie to gnaw on, which she took a bite of, then fed the rest to one of the dogs.

The longer I’m a mom, the more I realize that being a parent is largely made up of just making sure they’re eating, breathing, pooping, and not choking on dog rawhide chews, which becomes even more challenging when you’re not feeling up to it.

I feel better now (maybe it was just a wee bug?), and the Kid did eventually take a nap (about the length of half of Super Why and an entire Dragon Tales). She woke up grinning and babbling about whatever eleven month old babies babble about, which seems to be EVERYTHING these days. She seems to have forgiven me for dozing off while she was entertaining herself by watching cartoons, and I’m hoping she didn’t lose too many brain cells in the process. I would have loved to have the afternoon to myself like I did in my childless days, but we survived, and thank god for a kid who spent the afternoon in a good mood instead of the clingy mommmmm, hooooolllldddd mmmmeeee one that seems to be the norm as of late.

But her father is about to get home, and I think I feel a Man Cold coming on. You know, just long enough for him to get dinner on the table.