Settling in

It’s been over two weeks since we brought Sophia home from the hospital. Last week I caught myself thinking things like wow, a week ago you were squeezing the bejeezus out of Scott’s neck and shoulders during contractions or yeah, they were putting in the epidural right about now. Even though it wasn’t very long ago, the whole affair seems more like a dream, and I have to remind myself that the adorable little girl who wants nothing more than to be held actually emerged from my body IN A PRETTY PAINFUL WAY. The last nine months of pregnancy feels like nothing more than a blip, and I can’t tell if that’s the exhaustion talking or the fact that I am now completely CRAZY. Either way, it must be one of the reasons why people do this more than once.

The longer I wait the less sense it makes for me to recap the birth in agonizing detail, so I’ll try to be brief.

The truth is, it was mostly unremarkable, which is a good thing. I went in for my last scheduled OB appointment, thinking I’d go home and go another two weeks before having to be induced. I had already dilated to a 4 and was 90% effaced, but nothing of note had occurred during the week. There ended up being some question as to whether or not my water had broken, so the doctor sent me up to the Labor & Delivery wing for an ultrasound. The next thing I knew, I was taking my clothes off, getting into one of those awful hospital gowns, and the nurse was taking my blood pressure, as well as asking me about 100 questions. After the ultrasound, I waited for about an hour and was told there was no way I was going home. I had about half of the amnio fluid that I was supposed to have, and since it was so close to my due date anyway, my doctor wanted to induce.

So we did. And about four hours into a pitocin drip, I started to go into serious labor. After a few hours of trying to be tough, I broke down and asked for the epidural, which I had to wait for since so many other women were also in labor ahead of me and were waiting as well (five babies were born that day). The epidural worked its magic and I was a new woman.

I am now a huge fan of the epidural and strongly recommend it to everyone.

It didn’t take long after that for me to finish progressing to the point where I could start pushing. I never figured this would be the toughest part of the whole thing, but it was exhausting. Three hours into it, the baby still wasn’t crowning, and I was losing momentum. I opted for the vacuum extractor in order to get her crowning. It ended up being a good choice.

As for that “ring of fire” people talk about? Been there, done that. Let’s just say the epidural didn’t do jack shit for the crowning and anything that happened afterward. Quite honestly, it was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. But after a few contractions, there she was. I wish I remembered more of the experience. At the time I was just so relieved it was over that they could have placed a beef brisket on my chest and I would have been equally as thrilled.

It was an event that I hope to never forget, especially as the exact details are already foggy after only a few weeks. It took a day or two for me to be able to focus on something other than how much everything hurt. But after that, I was amazed at the kindness and just sheer awesomeness of each nurse who attended to me during those few days. They treated me like a queen; my days in recovery seemed more like a vacation than a medically necessitated hospital stay. (I will admit to almost crying when I had to say goodbye upon checkout.) And the whole miracle of life thing? For me, it was something that wasn’t even close to being real until I experienced it for myself. I still have to remind myself that a stork didn’t drop Sophia off at the doorstep, that this child GREW inside of my body for nine months. It’s just unreal.

After two weeks of not a lot of sleep and a handful of emotional meltdowns, we’re starting to get into a schedule. Of course, that schedule changes from day to day, but we’re learning. I’m finally starting to feel better physically (there were a few days in the first week where I pushed things a tad too much and paid for it). I’m trying to “sleep when the baby sleeps” (HA). Last week Scott’s folks stayed for a week to help with the baby and with a bathroom remodel (or I should say, reFUNCTIONAL, since it’s never been since I’ve known Scott). Next week Sophia will get a visit from her other grandmother (my mother) and aunt (my sister). Meanwhile I will just try to keep it all together, which is harder than it sounds. But Sophia is totally worth it. I think I’ll keep her around for awhile.