One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn while being a new parent is that I’ve had to lower my expectations on a lot of things.
Take the house, for example.
It’s a mess. I had every intention to have it clean before we left for our weeklong vacation. We left later than expected and somehow, even with that extra time, it didn’t get done. So not only did we come back to a messy house, but now 50% the crap we lugged to the cabin is still not put away, and I’m not even sure how I got THAT much put away. And I’m wondering if my sentences could run on any more than this.
I know they – and by they I mean all of the parenting magazines, experts, your family, friends, etc. – tell you that this is completely okay, that you’re going to have to let go of stuff like this. And that sometimes there will be dishes that don’t get washed or clothes that don’t get folded and that’s just how it is. And I get it. I could totally accept this, because I know I can’t do it all on my own.
But that’s the thing: I feel like I’m doing this on my own. Without mentioning any names, I seem to be severely lacking help from the other people who inhabit this house. So in my mind, these things getting done is not an unrealistic expectation, which leads to my constant frustration.
Just breathe and relax, right?
I’m trying to remind myself every day that I just need to chill out and do what I can. My visions of being Super Mom have long left the building, and Sophia doesn’t seem to be any less awesome because of it.
“Do the same thing you have always done and get the same things you have always gotten.” – swiped from a running blog I like to read by Kristin Armstrong
This is the closest I’ve come to being inspired since a 5AM emotional epiphany in the hospital a few days after giving birth to Sophia. I’ve realized I need to start doing things differently if any change is going to happen. At eight weeks out from her birth, I’m ready for change in so many places.
For one, I’m ready to start transforming my body into one that’s strong and healthy. It’s not about getting back to where I was before the pregnancy. It’s making a commitment to losing the extra weight I’ve gained over the past four years and really making a lifestyle change. I want to be the healthiest, happiest and strongest mother possible for Sophia. I’m not only her mother now but her role model, too.
The old ways of doing things just aren’t going to cut it anymore. I no longer have an hour for a leisurely morning breakfast, or my pick of any time of the day for working out. I guess it’s time for me to stop making fun of all those articles I see in magazines about saving time and getting dinner on the table in 20 minutes.
Speaking of exercise, I found out this morning that I got picked by lottery to run in the Twin Cities Ten Miler in October. Now I’m really going to have to figure out how to fit things like running into my schedule. I guess we’ll find out if I like running before the sun comes up.
I’m thinking not, but I’ve been surprised before. Stay tuned.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Funny how having a new baby changes your thinking, isn’t it? I hate having the house messy but usually wait until I put him down for the night before doing a quick pick up because I just want to spend time with him while I can!
I let a lot of stuff go. In parts of my house we have actual filth. I probably wipe out the fridge only every six months, etc., and the garden is never, ever weed free. And I make my husband do a bunch of stuff with a combination of whining, giving orders, praising him for his good ideas (like using his shop vac to vacuum the whole house) and then I let a bunch of stuff go. No idea on the exercise thing – I am 11 months post partum and work full time, and I have made it to the gym probably 10 times total and am no where near as fit as I was even during pregnancy. Maybe next year? But I have lovely babies . . . be good to yourself emotionally about these things, you deserve it.
I think it’s awesome you want to be a strong mama for Sophia. I saw a mom and her probably 10-year old daughter running the Cooper River Bridge Run together a few years ago, and it actually made me a little misty.
Can you get a running stroller or is she still too young (I know nothing of these things). How in the hell can you prep for a ten miler with nursing boobies? Where do I sign up for that?
I’m curious about the other person in the house and what, ahem, he or she is going to do to pitch in. Best to nip it in the bud before it causes a flip out. I speak from yesterday’s experience. Hi, I’m an evil fishwife.