Three and a half years ago, I decided to get a dog. Well, actually I didn’t just get a dog, I got a puppy. I had a void in my life that I believed was shaped exactly like a ten week old Bichon Frise puppy. Scott thought it was a good idea, which was all the support I needed to email the breeder, send a deposit and schedule a pickup. In the meantime, I had time to prepare. I bought a crate. I read books on training. I thought I was ready.
The first photo of Newman, aka, "Coconut"
But I wasn’t. Nothing went the way I thought it would. Surprise! The puppy didn’t want to go into the crate! Newman had no desire to sleep anywhere near it, as he was accustomed to sleeping in the bed of the previous owner. The first night we brought him home, we tried to get him to sleep in that damned thing and he whined and thrashed around so fiercely, I feared he’d hurt himself. We both had to work in the morning. We let him sleep in our bed.
Dog: 1, Owner: 0
My crate training was obviously off to a bad start. As that Dog Whisperer guy would say, I was definitely not acting like the Pack Leader. I couldn’t believe I was failing this miserably at being a dog owner. Meanwhile, Newman was the typical destruct-o puppy. I looked into training methods. I considered buying one of those clickers. I got ready to enroll us both in dog obedience school.
The above picture? Hilarious, because I think this was one of those freak weird moments when he wasn't clawing himself to death trying to escape prison. Or shitting all over himself when I'd leave him alone in it for short periods of time. That whole thing about dogs not shitting where they eat? Apparently, my dog didn't get that fucking memo.
It was around this time that a friend, whom I trust completely, said to me,
Who needs dog training? You know, who wants a pet who acts like a robot? He’s a dog. Let him be a dog.
Let him be a dog.
Let him be a dog.
Sorry, I just want those words to sink in for a minute, because oh boy, was she right about that. Newman was a dog, all right. A dog who had no idea how to behave because no one had ever taught him. A dog who viewed the world as his fire hydrant, and that included everything in my apartment, especially my bed, my desk, any new object placed on the floor.
Months went by. I took him to get neutered, thinking this would solve the marking problem. “He might be a little drowsy the rest of the day,” said the Vet. “The marking should stop, too.”
He took a nap for 30 minutes before he was back to peeing on everything in sight.
So innocent. So, so innocent.
Fast forward to today. I now have two dogs, because something in my apparently pea-sized brain spoke to me, and it said, “Get a second dog. Give him a friend. He’ll be better behaved if he isn’t lonely.” So that’s exactly what I did. I got a second dog, his sister from another litter. Abby was completely different from Newman in every way, including her bathroom behavior. Aside from a few accidents in the beginning, she went outside when she was supposed to. Meanwhile, Newman continued to pee whenever he desired, whether he had to go or not. As a matter of fact, there is no such thing as have to go in Newman’s world. He always has to go. He could spend three hours outside peeing on everything he passes and still come in the house, go to the recliner, and lift his leg.
It’s infuriating. Maddening. Completely exasperating beyond what words could even begin to convey.
Let him be a dog, my friend said. And I took her advice. I took the advice of a friend who didn’t have a dog. I took the advice of someone who owns a cat.
I took dog advice from a cat owner.
I don’t tell you this to try to dodge blame. I have failed in every sense that you could fail as a dog owner. I live in a house that on most days slightly reeks of dog urine, because even when I’m extremely vigilant, I find the next morning that I’ve missed a spot. I’ve tried cutting off food and water at some point each evening to try to NOT give him a reason to have to go. I’ve tried confining him to our bedroom, hoping that if he just doesn’t have the run of the house that he won’t go. He does. In the bedroom. I’ve tried strapping doggie bands on him when I can’t watch him 24/7. He simply pees in the band.
I’m a mom now, and I have a nine month old daughter who is teetering on the verge of walking. Our main floor is modestly sized, and I try to let her have as much room as I can to explore (completely supervised, of course). Our furniture is old, in need of reupholstering. Our carpeting is worn and stained, but it seems ridiculous to replace anything when we know that it will simply be anointed at a later date by the dog who just doesn’t get it.
This is our couch that he has completely destroyed. Holes, fabric missing, chunks of foam ripped out.
I’m tired of cleaning up dog pee. I’m tired of being so mad at an animal I could tear my hair out, yet knowing deep down it’s my fucking fault. And while I take full responsibility, it doesn’t make this situation any better. It doesn’t get rid of the smell of urine that’s soaked into carpet padding that will need to be ripped out very soon.
But what no one can tell me, what I can’t seem to find anywhere, even on this big world wide web of ours, is this: is there anything I can do to teach him? I have read all about training puppies. If I had another one and knew what I knew now, I would never have let him out of that crate that first night home.
The age old question: Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Trick, schmick. I need a miracle.
We had this happen with Jackson not too long ago. Granted he’s a lot older, but we thought he was acting out. But there were people who suggested that since he was older we needed to potty train him again. They said older dogs sometimes “forget”. We also had people say, diabetes, marking of territory, bladder infection, etc. Turned out he had a bladder infection. Have you consulted your vet on any suggestions?
Also, my aunt has a small dog that did that from the time she was a puppy. She’d go outside and then “tinkle” inside too. She has to take some medication every day (for the rest of her life), but she doesn’t pee anymore. I can’t remember what she said it was, but who knows… Just some food for thought.
Yep! I’ve read in several places that you CAN still teach an old dog, and it doesn’t take as long as it does for puppies. Give it a try!
Jen, I haven’t asked the vet yet, but I know it’s a learned behavior. Though, and I know this sounds bad, but if I could give him a pill every day to keep him from doing it, I so would.
I’ll probably ask the vet the next time I take him in (soon, for shots), but I think I need to crate train him as if he were a puppy.
Yes. In a word. Get some professional training at an obediance school that doesn’t use any kind of corporeal punishment. Like kids, consistency is HUGE. If you haven’t already, check out Stanley Coren’s books, especially How To Speak Dog. Don’t give up on this guy yet, he will bring you years of joy, companionship and faithfulness (I’m a dog person, can you tell?).
Uncontrolled peeing makes me think he has Cushing’s Disease. And it’s a “pill a day” kind of health thing. Once you speak with your vet, you can make the decisions that will be right for you, your family, and Newman.
Lisa, I don’t know if I’d exactly called it uncontrolled, but I may have him tested for Cushing’s. My mom’s bichon had that and it went for a long time without treatment.
Maybe you can reward him with a cookie when he does is outside. And ignore it when he pees inside.
So that he’ll learn it to be something he is rewarded for, positive attention.
Well it’s what I’ve tried with my oldest.