I think my body’s pissed off at me.
I’m sick. That’s right, I got over one illness that tortured me from the waist down and now wish someone would just slice the top half of my body off to save me the trouble. I fully expected to get this, with all of the other people in my life sick with this phlegmy, coughy can’t think straight disease that seems to be plaguing everyone up here.
Even though I know that I’ll get over it eventually, I’m just sick of everything lately. Sick of this body that sometimes seems really strong and resilient, but lately feels like a big useless sack of neverending snot or other gross bodily fluids gone horribly wrong. Sick because over the past few days my email box has been barraged by at least 100 emails from relatives who I wish had never heard of the Internet. Relatives who have been sending me hundreds of pictures of my great grandmother for compilation in a slideshow of said grandmother, or “can you make us a web page?” Because I, in a moment of weakness, decided to say yes to “help” with this, perhaps brought on by a Lutheran twinge of guilt for not feeling completely destroyed over that grandmother’s death, as mentioned last week. Yes, my Catholic friends, you hardly have the market cornered when it comes to guilt.
And now I wish that someone would tell them that computers, email, the Internet, and MY ADDRESS are tools of the liberal Democratic baby-killing gay marrying party, and that using such tools would hurt Jesus’ feelings AND contribute in electing a black president. Because that would definitely make their emails stop and my life a whole lot easier.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m sensing that you’re upset…
As much as I NEED to build a website for my two fledging businesses that would greatly benefit from being online, I’m often glad that I have no web skills. I don’t think I know of any relatives that are soon to pass that I might have the same problem with, but it seems having computer skills around family is like having a pickup truck around friends – sooner or later, they all call you to help with something that you want no part of.
Just keep the emails from ones you really like and care and for others, tell them the e-mailman missed you on his delivery route
Or if you are cruel/stone hearted like I am, tell them on their face that they are not only abusing technology but also messing with your life. I did that once to someone (the second closest relative via blood) and never heard from him again! So, I know this method works