The other day, while lamenting the still-no-day-job situation, I caught myself wondering how things would have been had I not left [job I had for almost six years to take work from home job for twice the dough but now sitting here jobless].
I then slapped myself for having the slightest thought that things would be a lot better than they are now.
There were days when I would hope to be involved in a major car accident on the freeway while driving to work, if only to prevent having to go into that office. I don’t know about you, but that’s some pretty fucked up thinking. Someone needs to slap me if I ever have a job again where mangled body parts and possible death sound more appealing than the 9 to 5 job.
I can’t really say that the work-from-home situation was rosy all of the time. There were never any wishes for car accidents (no commute, though), but there were definitely moments when I wrestled with the job, the work, and whether I could live with myself for working with a company who was benefiting so much from the Iraq war. In many ways, I was relieved when the job ended. And I think about it a lot, whether I compromised my morals by accepting those checks for work I was so severely overpaid to do.
While I never planned on returning to a job in food service and hospitality, there are some aspects of the work that are freeing. There is no briefcase filled with papers or proposals, or the company laptop. Every night is different, filled with different customers, different problems, different levels of stress. Yet, in a comforting way, the work is always the same. Drink recipes don’t change. The duties of opening and closing remain the same as they were the day before. Bartending really isn’t the kind of job that you take home with you when you leave the restaurant, aside from perhaps the cloud of cigarette smoke hanging on your clothes.
Working here isn’t my life’s goal, mostly because in this area at this establishment, it would be impossible to survive on a bartender’s salary. I am still desperate for a day job, and I’m still looking. And while I won’t find anything that pays nearly what I made down in Detroit, I’m almost positive any job I am able to secure won’t cost me what those jobs did, either.
