This Northern Life

Less than two weeks out from due date. I don’t expect to post here much until then, because I am sick and tired and well, sick and tired of posting stupid weekly updates. And due to some apparent pregnancy induced carpal tunnel in my left arm/hand, it fucking hurts to type. So there.

The biggest to-do on my list before the baby gets here is to clean the carpets. Simply put, we have two dogs who like to piss me off (sorry, bad pun). I always thought I’d be that mother who wouldn’t freak out about every little thing with the baby, but as the day gets closer, [...]

According to my baby books, this week the baby is considered full term and “would probably thrive” if I gave birth now. Which is great news, but I’m not exactly packing the car yet (though I should probably have my bag packed). Back when I was about 20 weeks along and thought I couldn’t possibly [...]

A woman at church on Sunday told me it looked like the baby had dropped. If only she meant dropped out of my body without me knowing. Alas, the baby is still doing a death grip on my bladder and very much still in utero. I’m constantly torn between wanting this whole pregnancy thing to [...]

Wow, time sure flies when you’re growing a kid. I had started a post last week but there was nothing much noting. Then again, it’s possible I just don’t remember because I’m so freaking tired all of the time due to it being impossible to get a decent night’s sleep these days.

Pregnancy doesn’t give you superpowers, but it does give you the ability to inhale food before you even know that you’ve, well, inhaled food. Like the egg salad sandwich I just ate in approximately 30 seconds.

Sunday while we were sitting in church, the baby punched/kicked/tried to scrape her way out with so much force that it almost knocked me off my chair. I was remarking to a friend how my physical measurements haven’t really changed (hips, waist, boobs) but holy crap, has everything seemed to move upward. Before, any baby [...]

On my hit list today: The Pubes (aka Public Safety) for not giving a shit about the asshole who decided to straddle BOTH handicapped spaces in the parking lot with her SUV. If I have a ticket on my car when I leave today, they will experience the unbridled wrath of a third trimester pregnant [...]

So it’s Week 30 and just like that, it seems that the baby has discovered how to contort her body in such a way that her feet are jammed up in my rib cage. It is as pleasant as it sounds. And when I say rib cage, I really mean the rib cage area, since [...]

Just flipped through all of the previous weeks. Some of them are right on the money.

I went for another doctor visit yesterday, a mere three weeks since my last one. They’re not a huge deal, just the usual Day of Reckoning as you step on the scale, pee-in-a-cup, listen to the heartbeat to make sure there’s still a baby in there, etc. I’ve finding them to be more of a [...]

This morning I got out of bed, put on my robe, and slipped on my shoes* to find that one of the dogs had peed not ON but INSIDE my left shoe. This is not exactly the Monday morning start I was hoping for. It also turns out that the corkbeds of these Birks are [...]

As you know I’m spending some time with my family in (the) Detroit (area). As you may also know it’s been a long time since I’ve been here — a year. The last time I was able to make it down here, I was playing in a hockey tournament with the Tech Women’s team. We [...]

I hesitate to even post an update this week because I am annoyed by everything and everyone. I’m even shutting comments off for this post because if you piss me off, I might react unfavorably, like launch this pair of scissors through the monitor. Or your face.

I wore a maternity shirt out in public. To work, actually. While it’s been months since I had to ditch my normal pants, I’ve held out on maternity ANYTHING on top for a few reasons. One, it wasn’t something I was trying to advertise out in public. Two, everything I’ve tried on until this point [...]

I spent the rest of the morning after my doctor appointment freaked out about gestational diabetes. And then I got on a computer and did some reading. And I am not as freaked out anymore. But WTF, doc? Thank you for scaring the shit out of me this morning. Always a good thing on a [...]

It seems like I have been eating nonstop since I got to work this morning. I’m blaming boredom, as this wonderful technical proposal I’m supposed to be reading just isn’t capturing my attention. What is, however, are the constant aches coming from the area near Ladytown, pressure that feels like Mysterio is trying to do [...]

Sewer Rats IM Hockey Clip from Amy K on Vimeo. Thought I would enjoy watching a hockey game last night. Many of the guys I play with in rental play on an IM team, a team that I was supposed to join this season now that I have my very special university I.D. card. I [...]

There isn’t much to report other than this: The news is about to be unleashed up here and I am preparing myself for the onslaught. Putting your hand on your stomach and feeling something hard there instead of soft flab is, well, weird. Baby seems to be using my bladder as a soccer ball. I [...]

One book says I’m in my 23rd week. I’m 22 weeks and two days. So call it what you wish. Last week I bought my first gift for the baby (if you don’t count the prenatal vitamins and antacid pills).

The weather here, like most of the Midwest, sucks. It’s freezing. Not just throw on a jacket and a pair of gloves freezing but dress in ten layers, wrap all skin so nothing is exposed and your eyelashes and nose freezes the moment you walk outside freezing. It is also possible that I’m just one [...]

My family is having a small shower-type thing for me in about a month, so I’m putting together a baby registry. And unlike a wedding registry, where it was fairly easy to go through the store and wave the gun at things I liked, this has been a slightly frustrating and almost painful experience. As [...]

Despite all of the outward signs, at times it’s easy for me to forget that I’m pregnant. This holiday season? Not so easy to forget, especially every time I had to pass on a glass of wine or a beer. Or look down at my breakfast and think, is that egg cooked enough? Should I [...]

Vacation, it suits me. We’re at an undisclosed location in the St. Paul area for the rest of the week. This is the first time I’ve had non-work Internet access in almost a week. I’m thinking I would like to move in and live here. When I first moved north, I would actually look forward [...]

Okay, so I’m here, working. And it’s not so bad. Really, the hardest part is getting up out of bed and out the door. But the crummy part? There is nothing to do. And I’m here for another… five hours. But there is Internet, which we most likely won’t have at the house until after [...]

The morning did not start off particularly well, considering I dragged myself out of bed an hour later than when I should have. Which meant I was an hour later for work than I wanted, and then there were the two old bats driving 35 MPH down the highway. I can only hope that if [...]

I survived two holiday parties last weekend, sans alcohol and only had to suffer through some secondhand smoke for about an hour. (No need to comment, I already feel like the worst mother in the world before the baby is even born for letting myself be talked into that situation.) It’s not about the booze. [...]

This is how my brain works lately: Department potluck. I see the announcement in the office. I see the signup sheet and write down what I’m bringing. I get the reminder in my mailbox yesterday. I see the date: December 12. That would be today. Noon. But the reality? It’s not today. It was never [...]

I have bought a handful of items over the past ten years from Pottery Barn, meaning I am on their ten catalogs a month mailing list for life, it seems. Last week I received one from The Land of Nod. I had never heard of this place, and I’m still trying to figure out how [...]

I’d like to post a sign outside my cubicle that says: PREGNANT WOMAN INSIDE. DO NOT BRING YOUR ACADEMIA GRIPES WITHIN 100 FEET OR FEAR ITS WRATH. BETTER YET, JUST GET THE HELL AWAY. DON’T SAY YOU HAVEN’T BEEN WARNED.

I slept terribly last night, the kind of sleep that leaves you feeling like you just went to bed, like you need about three more hours, even though the alarm is going off next to your face. I was told I tossed and turned all night, but I don’t really remember it. Finding a comfortable [...]

It’s possible I could be having some anxiety associated with this whole baby thing. My dreams have been, well, screwy for the past few months, but last night won the award. I was at some sort of event, and whether it was social or work-related I cannot remember. I don’t even remember where I was, [...]

It hadn’t occurred to me yesterday when I posted about the details of my current pregnancy that I might need to make some other things clear. I called my grandmother this morning to tell her the news; she was the last close relative who needed to be told (in my family), and I knew that [...]

You may be wondering about my latest announcement, and so to be fair, here’s the rundown, or at least what I know so far. Weeks along: 15? Today is 15 weeks and 5 days, which means I’m in the 15th or 16th week? Damn pregnancy calendars. I can’t really tell. What I can tell you [...]

Oh, hi! Internet, now you know.