Archive | April, 2008

Don’t Underestimate the Fat Man

John Daly, physical specimen Sorry, couldn’t embed. Thanks, MSN.

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How I’m Doing

I met Brian in high school and have kept in touch since graduation. He’s a little better at it than I am. He also reads this blog (Hi, Brian!). Every so often I will get a very thoughtful email from him. The kind that I know was an investment of time and thought, not just [...]

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Can I sniff the pit stains on your blouse?

Do I Creep You Out | Funny Jokes at JibJab This was a nice distraction amidst paying bills this morning. And I have always loved this song; it’s even creepier with the animation.

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Serenity Now

Scott is sick and unhappy with that chest/throat/head/nose crap that’s going around. I spent the morning grocery shopping and thoughtfully cooking breakfast, so that for once, every other week, The Kid could have something that didn’t come frozen, full of sugar and sodium, or out of a fast food container, since this is what he [...]

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A lie I will not fully regret until tomorrow night at 8PM

Things were winding up at The Bar last Friday night. Open Mic guy was playing his last song to a slowly diminishing crowd. I was glad to see it. I was tired of dealing with drunk people and wanted to go home. “Do you know any Rascal Flatts songs?” Tipsy Girl at the end of [...]

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Taking One for the Team and Life in the Shittorium

I got a text message on my phone last night. B wanted me to give him a call at the restaurant. “Hey, are you busy tomorrow night?” I knew what he was going to ask. However, I let him squirm for a little while before spitting it out, because it’s fun. “Do you think, um, [...]

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Chips and change

I’d been getting outrageously high electric bills for the past four months. I have electric heat in my tiny closet-less apartment, so a high bill in the winter would not normally seem unusual. However, I haven’t run the heat in my place for over a year. Just call it my summer home, or the place [...]

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Deep Hockey Analysis

While watching the Avs (boo) and Wild game, Ryan Smith scores on a bad defensive breakdown. “Is that the ugly guy?” “Yeah, that’s the guy who looks like the bartender from Deep Space Nine.”

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Good night

It’s 1AM and I should be in bed. But I can’t sleep. Maybe it’s the two pints of Guinness I drank before coming home after my shift at The Bar. For The Bar, it was a pretty good night tip-wise. This is a good thing, because lately, Saturdays have totally Sucked with a capital S. [...]

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Weighing In

When I stepped on the scale this morning, it read 140 lbs. And I can’t believe I just told you that. That might not seem like a lot for the average person, but I’m way shorter than the average person. The average American woman is reportedly a size 12 (or 14; it seems the number [...]

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Cookie Therapy

I had my first bartending dream/nightmare. I’m serving beer to some friends but also swamped having to process fabric returns for crabby middle-aged women (I worked in a fabric store during high school). The register won’t work; I realize it’s the piece of shit register from The Bar. Then some guy tells me he wants [...]

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BRUSSELS!

It was slow last night, the kind of slow where you look for things to clean that haven’t been cleaned since there was a Democrat in office. For fun. It wasn’t until about 9pm that my first customers walked in. They seemed like an ordinary middle-aged couple. They picked two stools at the center of [...]

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Buzzy

I spy Buzzy walking in the front door and have his Miller Lite bottle waiting for him by the time he sits down at the end of the bar, the same seat he uses every time he visits. “Hey gorgeous, how you doin’?” “I’m fine,” I say. “Whatcha up to lately?” “Oh, not much,” he [...]

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A good night

I’d like to think it was the flyers for “Come see the only Hot, Exotic Asian bartender in the U.P.,” but it turns out that the 30 people who showed up on a bus last night were on a pub crawl. It also did not hurt that we had live music/open mic night. It’s been [...]

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Bag lady

It’s April Fool’s Day. No one played any pranks on me, so I have nothing really interesting to blog about. I found a few new blogs today, this being one of them. I haven’t posted a “what’s in your bag” post for a long time, so I dumped my bag out on the kitchen table [...]

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