50×365 #142: Mrs. B.

You told us we’d be on TV, so you taught us a song on the xylophone and how to dance around a dreidel. I had no idea what a dreidel was, or what it meant to be Jewish. “You don’t have to be Jewish to be on Daedle Doors,” you said.

I am a participant in Blog 365 and x365.


Empty

Ten years ago, I thought I was pregnant.

I was late, I was afraid, and I took a test. I was dating the man who would later be my ex-husband, and in no way was I prepared for, nor did I desire, to have his children. It was a feeling that never left, even in the years we were married. And when we finally split, child-free, I rarely wondered if it had been the right decision not to have children. When we were together, the thought of children turned my stomach. All of my friends were having kids, yet the idea of having them for myself? No thank you!

After I split with my ex, I realized that it wasn’t that I was completely closed off to the idea of kids; it was the idea of having kids with HIM. To this day I have doubts whether or not I will ever be a mother, but I do know that my desire to have children was not so strong that I would have been willing to have them with him. Harsh, maybe. But the truth? Absolutely.

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50×365 #141: MJ

We had fun telling friends of yours that we were sisters, because who would doubt two Korean girls who swore it was so? It was a convincing tale you wove, how we had lived out separate lives back in Michigan. If I could have wished it all true, I would have.

I am a participant in Blog 365 and x365.


The Four Horsemen Are Not Far Behind

This week’s Signs Of The Apocalypse: I wore a bathing suit in public on three separate occasions IN ONE WEEK. As far as I know, no one was struck down and blinded by the sight. Yes, even I am putting on ill-fitting swimwear and scampering about in broad daylight, trying to enjoy every last drop of warmth and sunlight while it lasts. A true testament to how bad our winters are is the fact that I’m even willing to don anything less than a full-body wetsuit.

The other sign? Abby, my youngest Bichon Frisé puppy, walked into the water near shore today, wading out up to her chest ON HER OWN. And she didn’t melt, which is what I think Newman, the elder puppy, thinks will happen if he so much as gets sprayed with the tiniest bit of water.

We had the chance to spend three days out at our friend’s waterfront home, enjoying the warm weather, cool water, and food, not to mention the beer. This will not be a post where I pat myself on the back for sticking to my Un-Diet all weekend, though I was pretty good during the other days of the week.

One of these days, I hope to be a freaking awesome skier like Liz. Until then, I will take photos from the boat while trying not to be propelled into the water upon sudden stops. Have you ever tried to take photos in a boat going 25mph over choppy waves? We then took a long ride out to Dreamland; what was supposed to be a 40 minute ride lasted two hours, the waves were so big in the canal. By the end of the ride, I was picking my boobs up off the floor of the boat. Okay, maybe not, but bra support in current swimsuit = FAIL.

Liz, skier extraordinaire
The rest of the pictures are here.


50×365 #140: D.B.

I didn’t want to meet you under such circumstances, but there you were, recovering from major heart failure after a resuscitation effort that was nothing short of a miracle, at the too young age of thirty-five. Every day that I see you, I give thanks that you’re still here with us.

I am a participant in Blog 365 and x365.


50×365 #139: S.V.

We couldn’t get past that our common bond was your ex-husband, despite our hopes it would really be our love for writing and taking long runs through the woods. His creepiness reached an all time high when sent us identical emails full of heartfelt thoughts, down to the last XOXO.

I am a participant in Blog 365 and x365.


50×365 #138: Kevin

You were a public school kid, and I soaked up any attention you gave me on that weekend retreat, thinking you were special. You lost interest when we got back home and went back to our very separate lives. Rejected and embarrassed, I felt like a stupid girl from private school.

I am a participant in Blog 365 and x365.


50×365 #137: Stacey R.

You demanded attention from everyone all of the time. You shook your ass while walking to get the boys’ attention then demonized them for objectifying you. I followed you around like a sad puppy; I didn’t have anything better to do. Losing contact with you after that summer was a GIFT.

I am a participant in Blog 365 and x365.


50×365 #136: David

I didn’t know much about you, only that you were her much older brother, loved metal, and had a waterbed that you let us sleep on if you weren’t home. A pair of “panty raid” panties was tacked to your wall. I figured college must be one hell of a place.

I am a participant in Blog 365 and x365.


Where I’m (Coming) From

Someone please explain to me why it is that people — and by this I mean White People, mostly — feel the inexplicable urge to ask personal questions to people they don’t know, those people being mostly of the Not White variety.

Take yesterday at the grocery store, for example. I’m rolling my way through the produce section, picking out vegetables for that night’s Pasta Primavera. Nothing crazy, mind you. Just some beans, asparagus, onion, etc. On my way over to the garlic a strange man practically yells across the bananas, “Are you from BURMA?”

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Previously...

50x365 #135: Chris D.

Bribery

Paralysis

50x365 #134: K.B.

50x365 #133: C.K.